Our Parenting Style: From Montessori Intentions to What Actually Works for Us

Before I begin, I want to be clear that this post is written purely from a parenting perspective. If you’re an educator working within a particular pedagogy or framework, please always check with your managers, leaders, or setting policies before making changes inspired by anything you read here.

Now, let’s talk about where we started.

I’m a teacher and have previously worked in Montessori settings, so naturally, this influenced how my partner and I approached parenting from the very beginning. Early on, we had many conversations about how we wanted to raise our child at home and what kind of education we might choose later on.

Our initial vision was very clear:
no screen time, wooden toys, lots of independence, and full involvement in everyday life. We didn’t want screens to become a “third parent.” Instead, we wanted our child alongside us — cooking, cleaning, living — not just being entertained.

We spent time looking at research around communication and language development and decided early on that we would intentionally invest in books and communication tools, especially as our child is growing up with Dutch, English, and Makaton. We also chose to limit plastic toys, partly because they break easily (and sometimes dangerously), but also because we simply didn’t love how they looked or felt in our home. We felt naturally drawn to wooden toys, even before fully understanding why.

That said, some of these ideas have stayed — and some have evolved.

We are still relatively low-screen, but I’ll be honest: I underestimated how my own relationship with screens would affect our ability to be completely screen-free. That realisation led us to adapt.

Our son still doesn’t watch cartoons or children’s YouTube. We don’t have a TV in the living room — only one in our bedroom, which he doesn’t have access to unless he’s unwell. On those rare occasions, we’ll cuddle up and watch something calm and familiar, like The Magic School Bus, Franklin, or Sylvanian Families.

One change we have made is introducing films. After a trip to Disneyland, our little one completely fell in love with the characters — one of his first 20 words was “Mickey.” Seeing that joy, we decided to introduce some Disney films. We keep it short — around 20 minutes at a time — enough to enjoy without becoming overwhelming.

This shift has also led us towards something we’re hoping to implement more fully in 2026: analog parenting.

We want more intentional media in our lives. Our plan is to buy an older TV and a DVD or VHS player for the living room, so that watching something becomes a shared, deliberate family activity — not something thrown on in the background because we’re tired. We also like the idea that our child can see and choose what they’re watching, rather than content being endlessly available.

This intentionality is one of the reasons my partner loves the Toniebox so much. Our child has to physically choose which Tonie to put on and problem-solve when deciding what they want to listen to. Sometimes they’ll change it a few times before settling on the right one — and that’s part of the learning. We plan to keep the Toniebox and eventually add a Yoto Player as our child gets older, offering a similar experience in a more age-appropriate way.

Books, however, have remained non-negotiable.

Every time we visit a second-hand shop, we always check the book section. If we find something we love, we buy it. We truly believe children should have unlimited access to books. As our collection has grown, we’ve started rotating them seasonally — Christmas and winter books in December, spring themes as the weather changes — which has made them feel even more special and very aligned with Waldorf ideas.

Then came what I now call… the plastic toy invasion.

For our son’s birthday, we were incredibly lucky. My father gifted him a whole set of Toy Story toys — and honestly, what child shouldn’t have Toy Story toys? Buzz Lightyear now comes with us everywhere. Every journey, every trip — Buzz is there. We even bought the Buzz Tonie because he became such a favourite.

We later added the Moana Little People set with the boat. Our son is still unsure about it, but it was too lovely to pass up. Slowly, we’re introducing a wider range of toy materials alongside our wooden toys. I no longer see this as a negative. As our child has grown, we’re better able to support deeper, more purposeful play — and toys are no longer immediately going in mouths.

The biggest shift came around Halloween, when we realised just how much our child loves decorations and themes.

I’ve always been a very themed, seasonal person — I love changing the home with the seasons and celebrating little moments — and it turns out our child does too. He was completely captivated. I love hand-making things, encouraging independence, and creating rhythm in our days, so naturally I started looking more closely into Steiner/Waldorf education.

It feels like a natural extension of what we already value: independence, creativity, handwork, seasonal rhythm, and colour. That doesn’t mean we’ve abandoned Montessori — we still use it in practical ways, like his personal hand-washing area, coat space, and independence-led routines — but we’re allowing ourselves to blend approaches rather than stick rigidly to one label.

Someone recently asked me on TikTok (you can follow me there) what I’d call our parenting style now, if not Montessori.

My answer?

Montessori, Waldorf, with a splash of the 90s.

That’s us right now, parenting a one-year-old. And I know it will continue to change — especially as our child grows and begins part-time school next year. I’ll keep sharing how our approach evolves, just as we do.

Because parenting, like children, is never meant to be fixed 🤍